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  Copyright © 2019 H.Q. Frost

  Thank you to everyone that went on this crazy journey with me. I wrote this book three times, and each time these characters weren’t acting like themselves. Finally, on the fourth try they were back to their crazy selves.

  "Read that line again." Callum sat in a chair across from his great grandparents while the contract was being discussed.

  Lol cleared his throat. "If the female Reif is to demand release before the one year mark after the first date of marriage, you will trade your life for hers." Lol glanced at Germaine Carbon before focusing on Callum.

  "What's that mean?" Callum wanted clarification, but he knew.

  "You are to keep your wife content, Callum," she clarified.

  "And if this woman. Who, more or less is becoming my prisoner. If she wants nothing to do with this, I'm to suffer for it? Because I want nothing to do with it!" He stood, glowering at his great grandmother. When her husband got to his feet, Callum sat with a huff. "This isn't humane."

  "It's tradition. You will go down in history for bringing back such a tradition."

  "Please tell me how this will work? My heir cannot mate with their sibling. So where in God's name will we find the next heir to continue tradition? Please, Lord, please tell me you don't intend on crossbreeding my children."

  "Never!" his great grandmother scoffed. "There are enough Carbons and enough Reifs, but your pure-blooded boy will be the start again. He'll then marry down the bloodline of the Reifs…" She went on talking but Callum stopped listening. Eventually, over time, there would be inbreeding. There was no way around the insane tradition and he hoped he'd be long dead before he saw the day.

  "Fine." He put his hand out. "Fine. So then if this woman won't stay married to me, I'm what? To be killed?" He snickered until his great grandparents sat stoic. "You…that can't happen. I'm a duke. You cannot actually murder people!"

  "We're the Carbons, we can do what we please," her husband spoke in a strained voice. The man was not a Carbon by blood, he wasn't even Callum's father's father, and nothing irked Callum more.

  "This is preposterous. Mad." Looking at Lol, he hoped for support, but he would get no camaraderie from his closest friend while the eldest living Carbon sat across from them.

  "This is what is expected of you. I don't foresee you failing, Callum. Like your father, you don't fail at anything."

  "You expect me to brainwash a female slave, who is to bear my child, into believing she actually enjoys this life? And if she doesn't, quote unquote, get on board, I will be executed?"

  "How hard is it to make a woman fall in love?" her husband questioned as if Callum were already a failure.

  "I'm not as deceptive as other Carbons," he hissed, locking eyes with the old man who was no one until he married into the Carbon family, taking the Carbon name.

  "Silence." Germaine tiredly sighed. "Callum, you fulfill the tradition and after a year of marriage, you can be free from the woman. So long as she bears a male child."

  "And if she doesn't? If time after time I fill her with a female?"

  "Then, after your expiry of childbearing years, it will be the female child Carbon who will be expected to carry out tradition. And similar to me and your great grandfather, her mate will take the Carbon name."

  "You weren't carrying out tradition. He was running from his family name."

  "Bite your tongue, Callum. Sign the document or be stripped of the Carbon name and have nothing."

  "I am the last pure-blood Carbon male in this family. You will not strip me of anything." He yanked the paper toward him and before he scribbled his name, Lol's hand landed on his forearm.

  "Will he have a chance to persuade said female if she were to demand a separation?"

  "There will be a period of time." She nodded.

  "It's not in the document. Can we pen it in? This document is claiming…execution," he said slowly, "will take place immediately after the female's abandonment."

  "Yes. Pen it in." She waved her hand before turning her eyes to the clock.

  Lol tugged the paperwork toward him, quickly scrolling his own terms on the timeworn paper before initialing next to it, then handed it back to Callum.

  "You know, Callum," his grandmother said as she stood. "It wouldn't tarnish you to settle down."

  "Forcing two souls together that have no business being together will never be my version of settling down, Great Grandmother."

  "You wouldn't settle down if it were an old fashioned tale of love either," her husband grumbled while he stood.

  "Because a Carbon doesn't know how to love anyone but themselves. Haven't you figured that out yet, Great Grandfather?"

  "I don't want to go to bed."

  It's the same song and dance every night. Cole doesn't want to go to bed. Cole doesn't want to eat what's served for supper. Cole doesn't want to take a bath.

  "If you don't sleep you'll stay one hundred and four centimeters all your life." After brushing his damp hair, I set the comb on his side table and stare into his pale blue eyes.

  "Did you sleep a lot? Is that why you're tall?" The young are so innocent but my boy has been through more than most children have at only four years of age.

  "No. I slept the appropriate amounts. Just like you will. Come on. Bed time." Lifting him, I pull the covers down.

  "Will Aunt Gee be here tomorrow?"

  "No, but maybe you'll see Aunt Gee soon."

  That day will be the day that changes this boy's life. Gee no longer visits, but when she does come it will be for my funeral.

  "When is soon?"

  "Close your lips and let me tell you a story."

  "I want the story about the dragon." When he smiles, he looks just like me. When he cries, he looks just like her.

  "The dragon story again." I lay next to him and stare at the mural on the ceiling.

  This was once his mother's room. A mother he doesn't know exists because she gave him up at birth. She tried to erase me by giving up our son and didn't even have the decency to tell me she was pregnant. I found out through my great grandmother, and not until she showed up with him. Magdelena Reif continues to destroy my life and I haven't seen her in almost four years.

  "…And the dragon could only be tamed by one person."

  "Who?" He flings upward to a sitting position, completely foiling the relaxing atmosphere. "Who is she, daddy?" Having heard this story a hundred times, his excitement never subsides. The words change each time because it's a tale I've made up; at times the content changes, but the moral is always the same.

  "The diamond girl."

  He gasps as if he's never heard it. "Was she made of diamonds? Did she shimmer in the light? Was she able to blind all the bad guys?"

  "Yes. Yes. And absolutely. That was her power. She was able to blind the bad guys, including the dragon…" I trail off a moment until he climbs to lay over my chest. "The dragon was mesmerized by the diamond girl and, do you know what?"

  "Tell me." He yawns and with a smile I slide my fingers through his dark hair.

  "And the dragon had many enemies so he and the diamond girl wo
uld make great allies."

  "Would she fight for him?" His fingers play in my beard and I reach up to stop him but pause; it puts him to sleep faster.

  "Not at first. At first, she would fight him, then he would fight her. Their enemies would gang up on them and they would sometimes have to fight together."

  "Do they win, daddy?" he asks through a yawn.

  "No," I whisper and close my eyes, hoping he drifts off soon. "The dragon was too angry. His heart was made of graphite—"

  "Graphite is weak," he tells me as if he's the storyteller.

  "So weak. And her heart was made of diamonds."

  "Diamonds are strong."

  "So strong." I nod.

  "Together they make crab," he states with confidence.

  My eyes spring open at his words and laughter rips from my chest, fully waking him as he falls into his own laughing fit. I pull him to me, kissing his head and shift us until we're comfortable.

  "Carbon, son. The same element made them, but made them in different forms. Carbon makes diamonds, and carbon makes graphite."

  "I'm a Carbon."

  "Yes you are. You are coal and you will help the diamond girl and the dragon when you set fire to their enemies."

  "And I hope you find somebody else. That'll love you like nobody else!" I sing at the top of my lungs while I dance around my living room with headphones on and push the vacuum haphazardly.

  Arms wrap around my waist and I shriek, throwing my headphones off.

  "Fuck!" I scream at my boyfriend, shoving both my hands into his chest.

  The last fucking thing he should do is try to sneak up on me! He knows that!

  "Asshole!"

  "Ohhh," he says through laughter, holding his arms out. "Mag, I'm sorry." He's still laughing. Looks real fucking sorry.

  "Don't," I bark at him when he tries to hug me. "Why would you do that?" My adrenaline is through the roof and it's not exhilarating.

  "Don't be mad." Mr. Giggles thinks he's so fucking amusing. We'll see how amusing he finds all this when I blue-ball him for a week. Dickhead.

  "Why are you here?" I growl at him while I storm to the kitchen for water.

  "Magdelena," he says and I roll my eyes, dropping my head back.

  "You know I hate when you call me that."

  He doesn't say anything and I'm hoping that means he walked away. I'm not usually so irritable, but sneak up on me and you're going to make my shit list quickly. I live in constant fear a Carbon will come out of nowhere and slit my throat. And he knows this. Better than anyone.

  Three years ago I signed a slew of papers. A divorce petition. A promise I would never try to seek out Callum. A document giving up parental rights to my son. All these papers were tangible. No DocuSign to make things easier. Germaine Carbon promised me and my family safety after every page was signed, and I was eager to cut all ties with them. The threats against me, my daughter, my sister, and mother were grizzly and to protect them and myself I gave up my son. There's only one issue: I can't trust the Carbons. I live in constant fear immunity will be taken back and my family will be slaughtered. He hates me. It's not so farfetched he'd take back his word.

  After finishing a glass of water I look over my shoulder to see where he went. The sight of him on one knee and holding up a ring makes me startle and my glass slips from my hand. The cup shatters over the counter ledge and rains to my feet.

  "Kip," I whisper with eyes wide and my heart trying to crawl out of my mouth to get the hell out of here.

  He's my boyfriend out of convenience and protection. I'm his girlfriend out of spite and revenge. We're not in love and never will be.

  Looking up at me from all the broken glass he says, "Marry me, Mag."

  I almost shout the word no but I can't even form syllables. My eyes dart to the cupboard my broom is in and my body takes me that way. Grabbing it, I walk toward the mess and he slowly stands.

  "Mag." He chuckles.

  "There's glass everywhere," I manage to say through what feels like a sore throat because my emotions are so raw I want to bawl, and not in glee.

  "Fuck the glass." He grabs me. "Mag, fuck the glass." A nervous laugh leaves him and I don't know how he's not seeing we're not meant for marriage. "I'm asking you to marry me."

  "Standing in glass." I gesture to the floor as if he doesn't know this.

  "Fuck the glass." Pushing me back, I lean against the counter and he presses himself against my front. "Marry me." His hand engulfs the side of my face and he tilts my head up to look at him.

  My mouth hangs open while I try to think of something to say. Realizing I'm at a loss for words, his mouth covers mine. I melt into the kiss because I'm being conditioned to allow his affection to comfort me. My therapist is trying to erase Callum as my comfort source because he never really was. Sickly enough, while I live in fear of him, I fantasize over him. I touch myself to thoughts of him. I compare every male to him. And no matter how awful I think he is, I can't stop, which is why I'm in therapy. Thank you, Callum Carbon. I'm obsessed.

  Glass crunches under his feet while he lifts me to the counter. My legs wrap around his waist and I pull him closer, closing my eyes tighter while he deepens the kiss. I've programed my mind to think of Callum when Kip touches me. If I keep my eyes closed he looks and feels just like Callum. I don't want it. I don't want to be with Callum, but I can't stop. My body is obsessed with him. My heart hates him. My brain fears him. Being most of my sexual experiences with Callum were tainted with him only taking and never giving it's easy to accept Kip's tender hands and passionate mouth. Don't get me wrong, the couple times Callum actually wanted me to feel all of him, I remember those moments with such clarity the memories will never be erased. And Kip can't live up to those.

  When my leggings are off and he's sliding inside of me I drop my head back, holding his neck so I don't fall into the sink. There's a beat pounding in my head and Callum's name is the chorus of this song. He ruined my life and yet I can't stop the fantasy that the cock inside me right now is his.

  "Oh my god," I pant and fling forward, dropping my forehead to his shoulder.

  I'm so close to orgasm, and that's rare, but if Kip keeps quiet it might happen.

  "Yes," I moan, clawing at him, becoming obsessed with the sound of the broken glass as Kip's steps break it into smaller pieces.

  I'm the glass under Callum's shoes, shattering into tinier pieces. Traces of that glass will be undetectable to the eye but I want him to feel it when it imbeds into his flesh. I just want him to feel me. How could he hate me so much? How could he erase me? Dismiss me with so much ease. Fucking steal from me! Steal my own flesh and blood. My child! Mine!

  Kip's moan in my ear brings me back to reality and I quickly remove my fingernails from clawing at his flesh on his neck. All my tense muscles from the mental pain those thoughts bring me begin to loosen.

  "Fuck," he pants. Gentle kisses pepper across my jaw to my ear and he carefully grabs my wrists, pulling my hands between us.

  Still breathing heavily, he pushes his ring onto my finger. The ring I forgot all about and don't want to be reminded of, but it's on my finger and his lips are on mine for a reassuring kiss. I'm not sure what he's assuring, but trying to pull myself from a dark place, I don't protest. Grabbing my hips, he walks me across the room and sets me on my feet, away from the glass.

  "Get cleaned up," he says, still breathing heavily.

  At least he got a lot out of that. All I got was false hope for an orgasm before catapulting myself into the dark that always consumes me when I can't stop thinking about Callum.

  Locking myself in the bathroom I sit on the toilet and lift my hand to stare at the ring. It's beautiful. Looks nothing like my last ring. I loved that ring. But this ring is pretty, and big. Moving my sight to the mirror, I stare. My hair is dull and brown. My eyes haven't held light in so long. I look pale and gaunt. What the fuck have I turned into? I miss the color in my hair and curiosity in my eyes.

  "
Mag." He knocks on the door and I jump, breaking out of my daze. "You want me to pick up Poppy from class?"

  "No," I blurt. "No. I will. I'll be right out."

  Kip is around my daughter often but never without me. I didn't want him to get too attached or start thinking he's the male figure in her life. In a way he is, but at the same time, I try to teach her he's her friend, not father. He's not a father figure and never will be.

  I snicker and look at the ring on my finger. This ring says he will be. It has to be given back. I can't marry him. Not even out of convenience. I don't need Kip to survive but I thought having him on my side offered more protection. Germaine showed up with him a few months after she took my son. She filled me in on all of Callum's demands. Informed me how loathsome Callum found me. She tried to apologize on his behalf, but how could she actually be sorry? Kip was supposed to intimidate me I think, and it worked until she wasn't around. We talked. He apologized. He promised he wouldn't let anything happen to me or my family. Of course I didn't believe him, but when they left, he contacted me a week later. A week after that he showed up without her. Little by little I started believing the things he was telling me. While he works for the Carbons, it's not because he wants to work for Callum. According to him, he hasn't spoken to Callum since the fight they had. I believe him. He still works for the Carbon empire, but has no direct dealings with Callum. And he's held true to his word. Callum hasn't come for my head yet, and I never heard from Germaine again after signing a bible of documents, cutting myself free from the Carbons.

  I should have sent Kip on his way too, but he was persistent and held true to his word with everything he promised. Then, when he moved to New York, he became even more persistent. Eventually I gave in because when he was around I was less paranoid there was a Carbon around every corner. I believe Kip cares for me and he wouldn't let anything happen to me. But marriage…

  "Bedtime is the best time," I sing with Poppy while carrying her down the hall to her bedroom.

  "Night, sweet pea," Kip calls to her and she waves.